Final T's Correction of Formal Letter 1 by K.Krsmanovic

Dear Mr. Malone,

I read your advertisement for work at a camp for children and I would like to apply for a job there, because I think that I can improve my English by working there.
I have studied English for 8 years in a private school and I think that I have very good knowledge of it, so I can work at your camp. Also, I have some experience in looking after children, because I have a broher and a sister who are under the age of 12 and I know what children of that age are interested in. In my free time I go swimming and I play volleyball, so I think that they will be glad to see what I can do and also learn something new.
I am very talented for art and I won some competitions. I think that I will have a very good relationship with children.
I look forward to your reply.

Yours sincerely,
Katarina